tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62589373962758108812024-02-20T02:02:27.437-08:00Life's Too Short To...Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-16404593282521486242012-02-07T16:10:00.000-08:002012-02-07T16:10:01.030-08:00...not know the love of a good manThere's always so much talk about the love of a good woman. Rightly so, our love IS divine! I am not one of those women who bad-mouths men, or really cares to hear other women do it. Of course, there are less-than-desirable ones out there, but not all of them are that way. Heck, to play that game, there are less-than-desirable women out there! A good man makes the world spin as well as a good woman. He just does it differently because (surprise!) he IS different. Knowing a good man is enriching, enlightening, and burden-easing. He is to be honored and respected, bestowed dignity and favor. However, to be loved by one...well, that takes it to a whole different level.<br />
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To know the love of a good man, you know that he:<br />
<ul><li> makes you laugh all the time because it's just as fulfilling for him to see you smile as it is to have fun</li>
<li>picks up your dirty tissues when you leave them on the console table in the living room</li>
<li>does the laundry just because you don't want to</li>
<li>sees you're upset and checks in with you because, even though he knows you well enough, he knows you still need to talk to get whatever it is off your mind and be happy again</li>
<li>will be honest with you about how your hair looks as if a bird lives there all the while saying it in a loving way</li>
<li>lets you make the decision about where you'll eat for dinner, secretly hoping it will be the taco shop, but still okay if it's pizza and wings...again</li>
<li>will go out of his way to make sure your car is safe to drive no matter how many times you tell him about the chug-chug-thingy sound</li>
<li>will embrace your family as his own just because it's YOUR family and nobody else's</li>
<li>is wise and has great things to say that either heal your heart or give you a better perspective</li>
<li>sets a solid example for your kids as to how you should be toward others, especially the forgotten and discarded</li>
<li>will enjoy a chick flick, chocolate, and a foot rub just as much as you do</li>
<li> has many, many other aspects that contribute to your well-being</li>
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So 3 cheers to those men out there who are good, solid men - hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray!...and thanks all around.<br />
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<i><span style="color: lime;">NEXT</span></i>: The final touches: shoes, jewelry, and purses!Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-42069267718216890052011-10-28T13:14:00.000-07:002011-10-28T13:14:41.483-07:00...stay, so get a move on!Picture this: You're on a great, big ship. The ship is full of people and things and situations that have taken up all the waking moments of your life for a long time. They used to satisfy, fulfill, and make do. However, you start to realize that they're not working out so much anymore. You want more. You want more for yourself, more for your future. You've decided to chart new waters. You want to get off the ship, but realize the only way to get out to sea in search of a new land and new life is to lower the dingy, grab the oars, face the waters and just go. So you do...<br />
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Of course we have to be wise and not flippant about it. When we are in places in our lives that not only don't work out for us anymore, but become sorely unhealthy and almost poisonous, then it is time to get a move on. It doesn't matter the situation. We are placed on this earth to thrive, to live abundantly, to contribute to the health and growth and spiritual deepening of others as well. Am I saying life should be perfect...without challenges...unhurtful? Uhhh, no. That is a given. Jesus says that we will have trials and tribulations. He told us it was not going to be easy. We are human. We hurt ourselves and we hurt each other. There will always be sludge in life. BUT, we don't have to LIVE in it. We can see it for what it is (acceptance), we can face it head on (building courage), and we can walk through it while we search for truth and a better way (persistence).<br />
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The reason many stay put is because of fear. Fear of what others will think. Fear of "what if". Fear is at the root of all that holds us down and back. The beautiful thing about moving forward in spite of the "what if"s is just that - it's moving forward. The more forward we move, the farther away we get from all that taints our hearts. When we move forward from people or things or situations, we see the truth of what they were. We can learn what we need to learn from them, but leave it at that. When we move forward, we may end up walking alone or we may have company by our side, and how long will that company stay with us? Who knows. But ultimately, it's our lives to live. Move on.<br />
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Life is an adventure. Every day is an adventure. If we wake up, it's because God allowed us to have another opportunity to thrive, not just exist...to reach out, not just receive...there's nothing like lowering that dingy, and rowing on a prayer. It brings freedom. <br />
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<i style="color: magenta;"><b>NEXT</b></i>: The love of a good manBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-62792741752156262332011-08-10T08:18:00.000-07:002011-08-10T08:21:34.143-07:00...not have a dogTo have a dog in your life is like having a friend, a doctor, an exercise partner, a taste-"tester", a protector, and a child. I grew up with cats and little, hyper, yappy dogs that drove me nuts, but somehow those little dogs still left a soft spot in my heart all the days they were here with us as well as after they died. I loved my cats...A LOT. In our home, cats reigned supreme because we just loved them so much. We spoiled them like crazy, which I believe explains why they lasted so long in life. They cuddled with us, gave us little licks on our hands here and there. They were independent when we wanted them to be, and of course, they were independent when THEY wanted to be. Particularly the latter, wouldn't you say? The dogs, on the other hand, though loving alike, were always very dependent on us. They were more into their humans than our oftentimes snooty cats. I have realized more and more over the years that dogs seem to be nearly human themselves. I mean, come on, how many rescue cats do you see jumping out of a military plane or sniffing the ground for drugs? Dogs love and crave to BE loved. Why people use them for evil to gain money is BEYOND me, and all I know is we reap what we sow...and that's all I have to say about "those" people.....<br />
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How is a dog a friend? It's a companion, that special someone who enjoys our company just as much as we enjoy it's company. How can a dog be our doctor (in a way)? Put it this way, if you have a bug bite on your leg, then put some peanut butter (or some other kind of food that is healthy for the dog) on the bite and let the dog go to town licking it off. It's amazing how quickly that bite goes away! Also, haven't you heard of those stories about animal heroes? Dogs can sense when there's a sickness in your body. They can sense when a woman is pregnant. They know when you're sad AND happy.<br />
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They're an exercise partner for you whether you are hiking in the mountains or swimming in a pool. They're a taste-"tester" because where are they when you're cooking? Right at your feet, waiting for you to "drop" something! They protect their humans. They know how to treat their humans better than their humans know how to treat themselves.They're your children when you either don't have any, or in many cases, can't have any. Think about it (granted this is a well-trained "normal" dog): they poop where they're supposed to, they eat on schedule, they go to their bed when it's night time, you have to take them to the doctor for check-ups, they get baths, you can play with them, discipline them (in LOVE, please), and (oy vay...) you can dress them up. The nice thing about them being your child is they don't talk back! They'll do whatever it takes for our love. How can someone NOT want a dog?<br />
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<i><span style="color: blue;">NEXT</span></i>: Moving onBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-47998548206666248102011-07-06T20:34:00.000-07:002011-07-06T20:34:47.369-07:00...live without mannersThere's something to be said about manners, don't you think? They're one of those aspects of our lives that is either active, dormant, or totally dead. I love a good show of chivalry - someone holding a door open for a person, saying "thank you" and "excuse me", even cracking a smile. Manners are not one of those old-fashioned traditions people used to live out when they walked around town with dresses up to their necks, and top hats and canes shouting, "Cheerio!" to their fellow streetwalkers. They have everything to do with respect. Don't we all want to be treated with respect? Don't we all want to be acknowledged that our presence matters? I would certainly hope we would all say yes.<br />
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Greetings aren't the only types of manners that hold value, but even (dare I say?) holding in what I like to call "gaseous vapors" at the dinner table. Now belches, on the other hand, are actually considered a gesture of respect in some countries. I don't know if I could go so far as to say that, myself. I'm not really into hearing or smelling someone's eau-du-toilette scent while I'm trying to enjoy my macaroni and cheese or a sweet indulgence of chocolate cake. Sound gross? That's because it is. That's where manners come in to play to save the day!! So let's focus on manners as being innate or cultural. More than likely they are cultural. My mom raised me to keep my elbows off the table when I ate. Being an adult now, I still remember her voice in my head telling me to put my elbows down and sit up straight when I'm eating (I will admit, I tend to fall off the wagon at times). They are good qualities to have, they're not nit-picky, just ways of showing self-respect and dignity. Manners do matter.<br />
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<u><i><span style="color: blue;">NEXT</span></i></u>: DogsBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-1364376467363155712011-02-26T11:32:00.000-08:002011-02-26T11:32:18.489-08:00...miss the windI should have written this post a week ago when it was actually very windy outside. A funny take on my title since I literally missed writing about the wind ON the windy day! haha :) And it hasn't been very windy at all since then! Nevertheless, I am still able to write about it because it is one of the wonders of nature that ministers to me so very much. "How can someone miss the wind?" Easy...by focusing on the messy hair, the papers flying away, the leaves or seeds flying off of a tree and into one's eyes. There may be a statement made such as, "Oh that wind!", but it's purpose can be missed. The wind is that healing mechanism God sends our way to remind us that there is reprieve for the faint-hearted. The wind is all around us to envelope us and give us a sense of security...the security that we are alive, and not just simply alive, but alive with a purpose...just like the wind. When it is hot outside, what do we love more than a cool drink to quench us? We love that wind, that breeze that brushes our faces, blows back our hair to cool our scalp, and relaxes us.<br />
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We know a tempest blow can cause such destruction that there is no turning back. The mighty wind is to be respected. It is part of nature. It is totally out of our control, yet we think we try to control it by holding up an umbrella or our hand to block it. We see the effects of the wind, we feel them, and fortunately, we can even smell them at times. I absolutely love when gushes of wind blow around me, and the paralyzing scent of a blooming jasmine stops me in my track. I can't get enough of it. I have to keep sniffing the air...sniff after sniff. The wind is my friend then, don't you think? One of the best, simple pleasures in life is looking out the window and seeing trees sway, colorful leaves glistening in the sun, and the only way you can see the fullness of the glisten is because the wind is moving them!<br />
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Have you ever stood at the bottom of a tall aspen tree in Autumn and looked straight up? I have done that. It was the most amazing thing. I just stood there, watching these little hands of yellow dance wildly back and forth, all around because the wind was, in essence, the puppeteer. I remember being at youth camp long ago and our campground was in the mountains. There was a big field we had to hike up to, and it was vastly open. My friends and I laid down in the grass, and I felt the breeze come through the trees across the field. I watched clouds move by so fast. The combination of the wind and those clouds made me feel the closest to Heaven I have ever felt. That's the wind.<br />
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<i style="color: red;">NEXT WEEK</i>: Oh, the beauty of a life lived with mannersBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-2963973374803289172011-02-10T20:31:00.000-08:002011-02-10T20:31:37.553-08:00...depriveOkay...this word can wear different cloaks. It can relate to food. It can relate to love. It has many different facets. Deprivation is that state of being that can cause a person to head one of two directions: within or without. There is no middle ground to it. If I deprive myself of small luxuries, I will personally get edgy, unsettled, and I will start to feel a slight imprisonment. That may sound a bit narcissistic, but nonetheless, it is reality.<br />
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I don't have much pocket change to live on, if you know what I mean, but there is no way I am going to deprive myself of buying a $7 handbag at the thrift store if I see one that just really gets my goat. This doesn't happen that often, but when the opportunity comes around, I take it. You gotta live life still. Surely, that's something more materialistic in the grand scheme of things, but I think I work hard enough in my days to enjoy those little indulgences. I don't deprive myself of the allowance. Nobody is put on this earth to just slave away and not be able to reap some kind of reward for their toil, however small. I must give myself grace and mercy to partake. It's okay. The same goes for food. Fat = flavor...ya gotta love butter. I'm not talking margarine...I'm talking real butter. Real sugar. Real cream. Too many people deprive themselves of those kinds of little luxuries. There is a fine line between indulging and savoring. Deprivation is not keeping us from indulging...it's keeping us from savoring. I say, "Go ahead...eat that tasty treat..." I like to say (and I mean this with all positive regard), "We're all gonna die someday...we might as well enjoy the food on the way out."<br />
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When it comes to other types of deprivation, I will just hone in on one, in particular...and it's heavy, but in my opinion, if a person is not dealing with something heavy in life, however small or big...well, is that person really experiencing the depth of life? I'm talking about being deprived of love. The entire world, past, present, and future, is longing and aching and screaming for love. Real love...the kind that bestows dignity and sanctity upon a human being. It's not easy being love-deprived. I have people in my life right now, in the past, and probably will have in the future, who are depriving me of love. These people are depriving me of relationship...it's hard, it's hurtful...so what do I do? Do I deprive them because they're depriving me? That's a big question to chew on. It's challenging to answer. Part of me wants to do that right back at 'em. But where would that get either of us? "Ticket to downtown Nowhere Fast"...that's where. We are placed on this earth to give the love that has been freely given to us. Nobody should be deprived of love. We all learn as we go. Don't deprive someone of knowing who you are. There's bound to be someone who is ready and willing to accept what we have to offer of ourselves...we're all people...we all have something within us that will enrich the life of another person...let it go.<br />
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<i><span style="color: red;">NEXT WEEK</span></i>: The windBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-79306046976632847712011-01-24T18:22:00.000-08:002011-01-24T18:23:21.842-08:00... be rudeThis is one of those topics that either makes you wiggle in your skin, or overlook it. Rudeness is not one of those warm fuzzy topics. People seem to only want to talk about the warm fuzzies. Well, I think it's very important to talk about rude things and the topic of rudeness because we live in a rude world!!!! It's reality (but reality can change) ......So how did those exclamation marks make you feel? I think my biggest question I have about the issue of rudeness is...WHY? Why be rude? Why must people be rude? Really, is it necessary in getting one's point across? If you think about it, that is why people are rude - to make a point. Whether the point is, "You're in my way", or "Why can't you see it from my perspective?", or "I'm higher than you", there is always a rude gesture, word, or nonverbal facial expression being sent out to all who live in the universe. One day, I was in the drive-through line placing my food order. I said my please and thank you as I always do. I get to the window, and the cashier told me he only charged me for a small drink as opposed to the medium-sized one that I ordered. He said it was strictly because I was nice to him. I thought that was pretty special. He went on to say that it was a nice thing to hear coming after the man in front of me who said, "You need to listen better".....Okay....really, dude...you had to say that to the man who probably works for peanuts, but may be so grateful he even has a job?<br />
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What would possess anybody to say something like that? What do people really get out of it? It's undignified. It's uncalled for, and quite frankly, it just turns others off to the "point" one is trying to make. When did we become so rude? Sometimes we have bad days, or we might get short in our speech on accident (I'm guilty of that, but I try to make it right when I realize I've done it). And again, I ask, WHY? Manners have no age. They are not "old-fashioned". They are needed. They are necessary. They matter. Being rude to others does not make one look tougher. In fact, being rude to others makes me look upon the rude person with pity. It makes the advocate in me rise up even more for the person who is the victim of the one who is being rude. Just be nice. If you're a man, hold the door open for a lady. If you're the lady, give a thank you. Sometimes, I actually hold the door open for a man. Why not? We could all stand to be chivalrous...men, women, children, dogs, and cats. Animals, too, you ask? Yep...I'll tell you some cats around my neighborhood could stand to use some manners and stop peeing in my planter...but I digress...<br />
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Rudeness comes from insecurity. It does not come from a place of inner strength and confidence. It is something that needs to be weeded from our bad daily habits and buried. Our perspective must change. Jesus gave the Golden Rule..."Love your neighbor as yourself" - love yourself, it's okay to do that...Stop playing video games in church and listen to the preacher man (or woman) because others are there to hear the spoken Word of God...Chew your gum quietly in the movie theater...Relax the brow on your face...Cover your mouth when you sneeze and cough...Let a little kid fill his/her cup up with a drink before you do - trust me, there is plenty in the fountain, you won't miss any, and if you do, then they'll make some more...Just smile at people and say hello - everyone should be treated with dignity, even if they might give you the wrong color of pen to write with than you would like...It's actually a very easy thing to do - kindness. Life is too short to be rude. It's not worth it, and in the end, the only point that is made is the point people make when they say, "What is wrong that person?"...<br />
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When I have had to confront students who were bullying other students, I have always said to them, "You're not better than anyone else...and nobody is better than you." I have made arguing kids face each other, tell each other sorry (and specify for what), shake hands, and then go and treat people the right way. They stopped messing with each other. That's the key...kindness...because we're all sharing the same earth...do the right thing. That is what's worth it.<br />
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<i><span style="color: red;">NEXT WEEK</span></i>: Deprivation....(the sound of it is not as bad as you think...)Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-22252107362875483832011-01-08T16:20:00.000-08:002011-01-08T16:20:11.707-08:00...not go where you wanna go, do what you wanna doThe time is now. The time can not be "when I get the chance".... Why wait? What if the chance never comes because you've waited too long for it, and now there is no chance...because it's too late? That place is too far? You can't afford it right now? You're not good at something like that? When the kids grow up, then it might happen? Those are all understandable thoughts. Some of them are excuses, some of them are realities you simply can't get past... yet. So then what are you going to do about it? For me, the farthest I have ever traveled is the tippity top of the east coast. Great trip. Can't wait to do it again. For me, it's not far enough. I want to go EVERYWHERE. I didn't grow up with those opportunities. Many people grew up like me, many people didn't. Does that mean I was never meant to travel the world or have a talent birthed within me? Does that mean maybe I just haven't had the chance yet? I don't believe for one minute it was the former. We only get one life. I surely don't want to remain where I am now until I die. Do you? Some people like living and staying put in one place their entire lives. This post is obviously not written for them (no offense intended), but maybe they can humor me while I write about the rest of us - those of us that have buttons about to pop off our clothes because we need to get out and GO...DO....<br />
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Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? What are you doing about it right now? We have to make a plan and take it one step at a time, and we must give ourselves the leniency to unfold this plan over the next 1-3 years. It takes time saving money and drawing up the blueprints for big dreams to happen. It takes courage to keep walking toward them. I always tell my students, "If you truly want something bad enough, then you'll do whatever it takes to get it." I have to follow my own advice. I dream of indulging in pastries, cheese, and wine at authentic cafes in France. I want to ride my bike on the dirt roads in Italy, walk through fields of tall, green, swaying grass blades in Ireland, and be mesmerized by gothic structures in Prague. I want to go to countries and be knocked to my knees in humility (don't we all need that a little bit in our lives?) by lending my hands and heart to those in true dire need. On the other hand, I want to sell custom-made jewelry and make a great business out of it. I want to volunteer again in the neonatal nursery at a local hospital. At the very least, I want to be able to actually grow a plant to its fullness without killing it along the way.<br />
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Sure, some might say, "Keep dreamin', sister"...but you know what? Poopoo on that comment!! That's EXACTLY what I will do, and while I'm at it, start setting things in motion to make those dreams come true. It's all in the approach. How bad do I want it to happen? I can't wait any more. The urgency of those dreams is forcing me to act. Do you have dreams? Do you want to go somewhere, do something unique? Start putting things in order, however small those things might be because eventually they shall grow and become fruitful. The time is now.<br />
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<i style="color: red;">NEXT WEEK</i>: Rude (possibly Part 1)Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-76552541272154575852010-12-16T16:37:00.000-08:002010-12-16T17:13:27.568-08:00...not notice the world of autumnThis has always been my MOST favorite season of the year. It has been a while since I've written. The main reason is because I knew it would be about Autumn, and quite frankly, it didn't feel like it at all! How can you write about something that you can't connect with just yet? Well, the time has drawn near, and I have yellow leaves outside my door falling to the ground...just a few a day. The rain has kissed my neck of the woods on the earth, and the smells of blooming flowers and growing bushes come out even more. A friend of mine who grew up on a reservation shares her stories of eating the earth after a rainfall. I always enjoy hearing her talk about it because there is something to weather that brings pleasantries, isn't there?<br /><br />You know that you know that you know the seasons are changing. You can sense it. The rain and breezes in Autumn are not the same as the rain in the summer or spring seasons. There's something about this season that brings warmth and healing and coziness to one's heart. Is it the fact that we watch nature move in alignment with Heaven as it blows in our face a coolness that gives us just a bit of a chill? Maybe it's because now we have a legitimate reason for drinking a hot cup of cocoa every single day, and then some. One of my favorite reasons for this particular season is that I get to pull out my coats, sweaters, scarves, and gloves to snuggle in!<br /><br />I love this season because it brings us closer to celebrating the birth of our Creator, who spun not only us into being, but threw out the stars one by one that seem easier to spot on those colder nights. It's kind of fun to play a guessing game with the sunset and try to figure out just when exactly that sun will go down...will I have enough time to go for my jog when I get home from work, or will I be "forced" to stay in and relax while I'm simply covered with a blanket on my couch? There's an excitement that Autumn brings my way. Many people feel a rejuvenation when it's Spring, but I get it from harvest time. It's a reprieve. It's a welcome friend who has been on a long vacation, and is back to share new stories of adventure.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204); font-style: italic;">NEXT WEEK</span>: Go where you can go, see what you can seeBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-20790278487859433202010-09-05T18:41:00.000-07:002010-09-05T19:04:17.362-07:00...not love with all you haveThe older I get, the more I see the urgency for love to permeate through the veins of societies. I say that in the plural form, not a singular "societY". Love commands, demands, yet yearns and yells at the same time. "Is anyone out there? Is anyone listening? Where can I go? Who will take me? Who will give me?", Love questions. Songs have been written over the course of past generations. They are being written now, somewhere, as you read this, and they will always be written on pages for others to be awakened. They are songs about love. What's the big deal about love when there is so much hate? I want love. I want to give love. I want to err on the side of love rather than hate. Who am I that I should withhold love? Is it withheld because I have been hurt? Tell me someone who has NOT been hurt one way or another, and then send them to me to reveal their secret. I do not have to be an unscratched faberge' egg in order to love the man standing next to me who smells like he really needs a bath. If anything, I must love him more because of my own scratches...that way he (or she) knows the love is real. Then, when he has known love from me, he can give it to someone else.<br /><br />Shall I give love only to those closest to me, who share in my personal joys and friendship? Shall I only give love to my husband? Shall I only give love to my parents, pastor, or children? Who shall I give my love to? Everyone! Some people say, "Don't even give that person a second thought." For some reason, that comment makes me want to love "that person" even more. He who is without sin cast the first stone. Love is not just a warm fuzzy surging through my veins because it's my birthday and loved ones are showering me with wishes and hugs. Love is a choice. How can I NOT choose to love? I was not made for myself. We were not put on the earth to love ourselves. That is a very lonely place to be. That is a very boring place to be!<br /><br />I look in the eyes of others who can't see beyond their own pasts and I see each one of them has a child inside STILL in need of love. I want to be someone who can bring a tinge of healing and joy to them. I see faces of those who have not gone through much drama in their lives, but have had very happy, cultured, well-established upbringings, and still there is a need. It happens more often than not. THEY must love. It is in giving that we receive. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. It is in loving that we are loved.<br /><br />I am greedy. Did I perk you up? I am GREEDY for love. I am filled more and more each day with a love I have never known, and I want more! I also want to give more. What if I die tonight? What if you die tonight? Anything can happen at any time in any way to anyone. That is the reality of life. Can you rest your head knowing you have loved with all that is in your being?<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>NEXT WEEK:</em></span><span style="color:#000000;"> My favorite season - Autumn!</span>Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-3929595661166693002010-08-21T06:37:00.000-07:002010-08-21T07:18:10.723-07:00...not be crafted in the art of being happyI think happiness really is an art. Situations, incidents, events, etc., those things happen, and it's in those circumstances that happiness can be experienced...if you embrace them and learn from them. There is a quote I really love, and I don't remember the author of it, but nonetheless I'm sure he/she would prefer I remember the quote anyway. It goes like this: "Happiness is found when one stops looking for it." What a concept! Thonk my forehead, I coulda had a V8!! When I look back over the last 7 years of my life and when I think of my present life I see, first and foremost, the amazing hand of God, and I notice about myself that I am surrendering more and more each day. They are little steps (I can hear Bill Murray saying, "Baby steps, baby steps" in What About Bob?) that I take, but the older I get, the more I throw my hands up and say, "Okay!", and I continue walking forward. It is in THAT surrender that I feel the happiness grow a little more as time goes by. Why do I surrender? Why not?<br /><br />I had entered a new school of life 7 years ago when my first marriage ended, and while it was the worst time of my life EVER, it was also the BEST time of my life. I had searched and searched so very hard for happiness in the life I had back then and when it was not around anymore, and when I realized that I had NO control over someone else's choices, however hurtful and out of line they were, I threw it all up in the air and said, "Okay!". I let go and I walked through whatever came my way. That was the beginning of a new road of life perspectives that truly mattered. It was a struggle along the way, don't get me wrong, BUT it has become a new road of faith. It has become a new road of love. It has become a new road of happiness. It has become a new road of joy. There will never be an end to struggles in this life on earth, but the difference between being swept away by them and being victorious over them lies in having faith in God and not only understanding, but EMBRACING the moments at hand. It is when we embrace the situations in our lives that we can gain happiness one moment at a time because we have surrendered, and when we have surrendered, then our hearts, eyes, ears, and minds are open to seeing what we should be seeing in the first place. This truth goes for any type of moment, positive or negative.<br /><br />Haven't you ever heard people say to you that when you let it go, things work out? And not only do they work out (whether or not they worked out the way you thought they should have), but they work out better!! I'm not saying you have to go through something traumatic and big and heavy like an abandoned marriage in order to learn the art of being happy because certainly you don't. I commend you if you have little to no drama in your life and things always work out well for you. I know people like that. I genuinely say more power to you. But taking in the subtleties of life can teach you new lessons of happiness and joy all on their own. Letting go of the need to control everything (if you're willing to admit that you have that need) will most certainly bring freedom. Most of all, realizing and accepting the truth that God made you, and God doesn't make junk, will in and of itself bring a smile to your heart.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>NEXT WEEK</em></span>: Love with all you haveBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-3924170006184543662010-08-08T17:10:00.000-07:002010-08-08T17:51:03.855-07:00...be without clouds and other little thingsClouds...clouds...clouds...those mashed potatoes in the sky (that's what I have called them since I was little)...those floating cotton balls...they're absolutely wonderful. There is an organization called The Cloud Appreciation Society. You can go to their website and see different pictures of clouds. It's quite amazing, actually. Whenever we're fortunate enough to have weather where I live, I will always look up at the sky and watch the clouds. Don't you remember being a kid and watching them go by as they change formation? We've all seen dragons and angels and bunnies somehow. Many artists include them in their paintings. What is it about these spits of love that Heaven throws out to us? Why are so many intrigued by their power and subtleties? For me, they've always brought a feeling of excitement about life.<br /><br />There was a movie way back when I was a kid that just set me over the moon and drove a stake of passion for the sky, and all that is in it, into my heart. "The Boy Who Could Fly" made me want to fly so bad! After seeing that movie, I would always go out to my backyard, sit in the grass, and watch the sun set with the clouds in prime fashion. What made them even more effective with me was feeling the wind blow. They're so ethereal. Rightly so, they're made by an intricate and surprising Maker. Who wouldn't fall in love with them?<br /><br />Raindrops water us. They add growth metaphorically and literally. They bring out the best of pine trees - the smell! They wash the bird poop from our windshields and give us an extra boost of energy when we go jogging in their downpour. They help us save on our water bills by taking care of the grassy yard and flowers. They're quite versatile!<br /><br />Post-it notes are one of the best inventions "since sliced bread". Post-its are platforms for subtle reminders - once you write it down, you take care of the task, you throw the post-it in the trash, you've gone about your business. Simplicity at its finest! Post-its can be used to prioritize items in a business meeting, to easily create a seating chart for a classroom, and to designate what pieces of furniture you might want to throw in the yard sale for when you move. I have tried using formal planners with their labeled sections so many times, and don't get me wrong, there are some really cute and very functional planners out there, but they just don't do it for me. And this is coming from someone who is VERY detailed and thrives on structure and order! Post-its are just easier. I usually have a nice little running pile stuck together that I stuff in my purse in a certain pocket. When I do that, I know that there are some important things I need to tend to, and they're right there, conveniently located so that I can just whip them out like James Bond whips out his pistol. Plus, they come in some really pretty colors.<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>NEXT WEEK</em></span>: The art of being happyBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-57241522631684200792010-07-25T20:31:00.000-07:002010-07-25T21:03:19.563-07:00...worry about how long your life will beKey word: worry. With as many age-defying creams out there and "cosmic" elixirs that are sure to add years to our lives, what do we have to worry about? Is that where our fountain of youth is found? What if I told you there really is no fountain of youth, or more so that it's not found in forever creams and neon drinks? The bible says, "Grey hair is a crown of splendor, it is attained by a righteous life (Proverbs 16:31)" and "Remind me that my days are numbered (Psalm 39:4)". Would that make any impression on you about life? Would that grant you a different perspective about the kinds of choices you would make for yourself? I don't know about you, but there is a reason I am getting grey hairs on my head and wrinkles on my face, and I can guarantee it's not so that I can contribute to the insatiable feeding of the cosmetic industry. I am quite simply...living. I don't live in tomorrow anymore. I used to live in many fantasies about what I wanted for myself in my future. I used to live in my future. It was my escape from my present. I used to wonder how old I will be when I die, so that I can plan my days out before it happens.<br /><br />The more I lived in my future, the less I lived in my present, and the less I lived in my present, the more I got away from reality, and the more I got away from reality...well, surely I missed something. I couldn't tell you what it might have been because I was too busy thinking about my future! I was sitting around waiting for my future to show up, when IN reality, the future did not and does not exist. Do you catch what I'm trying to say here? Worrying about how long your life will be only takes you out of the now because what are you thinking about? You are thinking about the future. I came across a quote that really made a light bulb turn on for me. It goes like this: "We must let go of the life we have planned so as to accept the one that is waiting for us". How simply profound. We have no control over tomorrow, that is, if we're fortunate to be given one. When it comes, what shall we do with it - wish we had yesterday back? Speaking for myself, I prefer to savor what is in front of me. Right now, it is one minute until one of my favorite food shows comes on, so I will sign off and enjoy it. Hey, I may get a great cooking tip!<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>NEXT WEEK</em></span>: Clouds and other little thingsBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-78476829725405000872010-07-19T18:14:00.000-07:002010-07-19T19:41:57.821-07:00...worry about broken dishesI got this week's idea from a colleague of mine, and though I didn't get her reason why she came up with this in particular, I will venture to say that she meant life is too short to worry about something that won't keep us from falling apart ourselves. So why bother fretting over something that is replaceable? There is a deep connection people have to objects. Many people have great emotional ties to dishes, in particular. To be even more specific, many find deep meaning in plates because that is what they used for a special, pivotal event in their lives. They ate meals on their special plates when they had their parents over for dinner to announce a new pregnancy, or they ate off of their special plates because they joined together to comfort one another after the funeral of a loved one who died.<br /><br />For whatever reason dishes are held in high regard to people, there is one underlying norm: identity and internal value is found in them. I had a set of blue plates that I bought myself and stored away a long time ago for when the day would come when I would live on my own. Since blue is my favorite color, the plates obviously spoke to me. The pattern was simple yet trendy, kind of like my own style and personality. I felt those plates really spoke of who I was and it somehow gave me some purpose and internal value because of what they represented to me. They were a symbol of freedom to come. Understandable enough, right? Of course. I was the one who picked them out, nobody else. I didn't have to check with anyone for approval. It was all me. It was fun. I looked at them many times over and just dreamed of me and my plates and the life we would have together someday.<br /><br />When I finally did get my own place, the plates made their home in the cabinet. And that was it. It's not that I didn't like them anymore because I truly did, but they became a PART of something I had made for my life. THEY didn't make my life. They simply became a lovely thing upon which to eat food with people I loved. That's all. I don't even have those plates anymore, and I'm not really sure what happened to the whole set! I just know that they alone had no value, but what I did with them brought the meaning to my life - the experiences of sharing food and time with others.<br /><br />I didn't pay a lot for them, I don't see the point in doing that. If one chooses to pay a lot for plates, I hope one understands that the value is not in the plates themselves, but for the reason they were made: holding food while you make those important connections with other human beings.<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>NEXT WEEK</em></span>: How long your life will beBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-20533347939639202592010-07-14T09:58:00.000-07:002010-07-14T10:43:32.095-07:00...miss the little thingsRunning around galavanting...feeling weighed down with circumstances and people's expectations...juggling daily responsibilities...all these things and more are norms of life. We do them or go through them, and when we're done with them, they're right back in our face. We can be like the little hamster on its wheel because it's so easy to be that little hamster. Where do all these things get us? Productivity is always good. Laughs are what we need to balance things out with the tears. We rush and run and rush and run and wait...we rush and run and rush and run and wait. What's on our mind when we go through that? I always find it funny when I see the person who speeds up and zips around the cars only to find him or her self stopped at the red traffic light just a few feet ahead - speeding up to stop.<br /><br />In all of that, in all of the accomplishments of the day, in the rushing to the restaurants, etc, there may be things we miss if we don't actively look for them. We might miss getting ideas to better our selves and thus positively affect others if we're too busy trying to find out someone else's business. Any of us can die at any moment, on any given day, in any given way. Not to be morbid or pessimistic, but I'm a realist. Freak things happen all the time. We should never think we're indispensable for a moment. I want my life to count for something TODAY. If I'm fortunate enough to have another day be given to me, then I want my life to count for something then as well.<br /><br />Truly, our days will hold more value and our lives will be more enriched if we pay more attention to the little things around us, and even in us (the still small voice). One morning I was jogging along an irrigated field at the local high school. All of a sudden, a dragonfly the size of a hummingbird was keeping pace with me by my side. It was the neatest thing. It didn't leave me for quite a while until I got close to the end of the field and then we parted ways. It looked like it was made of copper the way the sun was shining on it.<br /><br />Do you ever watch the clouds? How about the good blessing of a front parking spot when you come around the corner? Watching a dog just lay there and pant - what's going through that little mind? Finding a $10 bill on the ground right in front of you at a busy waterpark with hundreds of people walking around you (that happened to me!)...always seeing a butterfly somewhere...seeing a little child act goofy just because that's who they are, not really trying to impress anyone, but just being themselves...being able to haggle down the price of something you really want...in my case, as a teacher, having a student who decides he wants to start reading the dictionary for fun (still makes my heart melt when I think about it, and 2 different students to top it off!)...<br /><br />I could go on and on. Look for those little things. Give your attention to them and they will begin to reveal themselves to you more and more. They will bring you reprieve. They will fill you more than a full schedule.<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">NEXT WEEK</span></em>: Broken dishesBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-1731795842090498112010-07-04T17:44:00.000-07:002010-07-04T18:12:24.560-07:00...forget being freeOkay, last week I said I would write about the "little things" for this week, but as I was taking a shower this morning (I seem to do a lot of thinking there...more than usual...;D) I remembered that today is Independence Day. It is our formal reminder of the liberties we live with and in on a daily basis. It is a day when we can legally have fireworks, get to wear red, white, and blue clothing, and sing "God Bless America" or our National Anthem more than we normally do.<br /><br />We get to buy "To Do List" magnetic note pads with stars/stripes on them, eat additional servings of hamburgers and hot dogs (extra burnt for me, please), and other than the heat luring us, enjoy more time in the pool. We are willing to park in a busy lot somewhere a mile down the road and walk the crowded sidewalk others are heading the same direction on in order to find the best spot possible to see a display of fireworks in a park or college field. We do it all so that we can be silenced...silenced in rememberance of why we're doing all I have mentioned in the first place.<br /><br />We are being thankful and grateful for the ability to do those things amongst so many others because not only do we WANT to do them, but because we have the FREEDOM to do them. We sit silenced thanking God for not only the freedom He gives in our hearts, but for the freedom that so many people have fought to give us and still fight today to give us. There will be many who will continue to fight in the future for us as well.<br /><br />Here's to those that lose somewhat of their own liberties in order to secure ours: <span style="color:#ff0000;">T</span><span style="color:#ffffcc;">H</span><span style="color:#3333ff;">A</span><span style="color:#ff0000;">N</span><span style="color:#ffffcc;">K</span><span style="color:#3333ff;">S</span> a hundred-fold!!!<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>NEXT WEEK</em></span>: The little things (for sure!)Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-77318641549372961572010-06-28T11:22:00.000-07:002010-06-28T12:00:00.687-07:00...hold grudges!Aside from my own perspectives about life being too short for things, I asked my family, friends, and colleagues for their thoughts. Today's particular issue is one I struggle with like many people do, but nonetheless, it is an issue that must be worked on and worked OUT, if you know what I mean. The quest to conquer grudges is like the Spartan trying to conquer Xerxes, however, in real life, by the grace of God, we can prevail over the grudges. Grudges do not go down without a hard, and sometimes long, fight.<br /><br />Here's what some had to say about grudges:<br /><br />"Being angry at someone for any length of time is harmful to you. It's just a waste of time. It's best to forgive and let go. Give that grudge, frustration, anger over to God. Let it go. When you start holding grudges you start some stinking thinking. You start making up little scenarios. You drive yourself nuts! Ya gotta move on. It's best to enjoy life."<br /><br />"Life's too short to hold a grudge, resentment, or guilt. In fact, I would include anything that would be a weight or hindrance to becoming all that God has planned for you to be or accomplish."<br /><br />"Life's too short to stay angry with anyone."<br /><br />For someone like myself, who is very convicted about justice and who cares that people treat others the right way, it's very hard to just let things go because then it feels as though there is some kind of permission granted to those who are being hurtful. The truth is...that is NOT the truth.<br /><br />By holding grudges we are imprisoning ourselves to our own hurt and anger. We must let go in order to live in the liberty we THINK we are gaining by tacking someone up on our mental, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey wall.<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>NEXT WEEK</em></span>: The little things...Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-67512003512192144142010-06-20T14:30:00.000-07:002010-06-20T15:03:11.792-07:00...not eat cheese!For those who cannot indulge themselves in this heavenly creation because it messes with your stomach, I'm sorry, but maybe you can just dream about it for the day. Considering I just had pizza for lunch with my family, I'm gassed up (pardon the pun - oh, sometimes I crack myself up!...) to discuss one of the luxuries of life - cheese.<br /><br /><br /><br />There's nothing heavy about this post today (unless you decide to gorge yourself after reading this, but please don't do that), so incline your ear to me. Cheese is one of those comfort foods I always get excited about when the opportunity to eat it arises. If you think about it, cheese really does make everything taste better. There's macaroni and cheese, cheeseburgers, cheese fondues, nachos, cheese/fruit bites (eaten together), cheese/crackers, cheese/meat slices (eaten together), cheese on your pizza, cheese on my pizza, string cheese, cheese toast, cheese dips, cheese toppings, cheese balls...what else can I say? I'm sure you can add your own idea.<br /><br /><br /><br />It's amazing that there are so many choices of cheese anywhere you go. Think about it, you will find cheese when you're on the road at the pull-off quick mart. You will find cheese danishes and bagels and cream cheese at a bakery. You will find a plethora of cheese in the deli section of your local grocery store, and the yummy gourmet types are usually in the refrigerated center case. Everywhere you look there's cheese! It's like the world is one big Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but for cheese. Can you imagine floating down a creamy, lazy river of melted Brie while you're passing trees made of Parmegiano shavings that are gracefully falling to a ground made of chunky Gorgonzola? Oh, how I can only dream....<br /><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">NEXT WEEK</span></em>: GrudgesBellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-14930372201201771762010-06-13T15:32:00.000-07:002010-06-13T16:22:37.219-07:00...worry about your pants getting stuck in your shoes<div>To enlighten you about this week's title: I have a particular pair of pants that I like to wear with a particular pair of shoes. The only thing about this partnership is that when I rise up from my seat, the pants end up getting stuck between the back of my shoes and my foot heels, so I always have to pull my pant legs out. Well, one day I was in a job interview wearing these pants and shoes. The time had come for us to wrap things up, and even though the interview went very well, I was feeling a little nervous still (who wouldn't?) and forgot to make sure I fixed my pants before getting up. All at the same time, the ladies started holding out their hands to shake mine and I was working on fixing my pants. I ended up shaking one lady's right hand with my left hand, all the while telling them that my pants were stuck in my shoes and trying to make light of it by giggling and my face was turning red from embarassment because I couldn't believe I was even experiencing all of that.</div>
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<br /><div>They chuckled with me about it a little (maybe for sympathy?....), but I didn't want to act like I had it all together, not fix my pants, and then have THAT be the last thing they remember seeing of me. It ended up being awkward no matter what. I called a friend to tell her how the interview went, and all I could focus on in speaking with her was my pants issue! I kept saying, "I'm such a dork, I'm such a dork!" She said, "If they really like you, they won't care about that. They will see past that to who you are really are, and how you will benefit them."</div>
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<br /><div>I know, "What IS the big deal? Those kinds of things happen to everyone." That is correct, and THAT is the point: it's NOT a big deal at all, but it overtook me and it was all I could think about. It was a true wardrobe malfunction, and what would make me so special to not have some silly thing like that happen to me? </div>
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<br /><div>When we get into situations that matter a lot to us, we want every little detail to work out perfectly...but every little detail does not always obey us. We have to be okay with that, and what's more...we need to focus on the TRUTH of the situation. For me, the TRUTH of the matter was that I had a great interview, and I actually ended up getting the job! Aren't you glad that pants and shoes can't determine the outcome of our lives? Ahh, the process of learning how to pick battles.</div>
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<br /><div><font color="#ff0000"><em>NEXT WEEK</em></font>: CHEEEEEEEESE!!!</div>Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258937396275810881.post-85783040875052293822010-06-06T16:28:00.000-07:002010-06-06T16:47:56.909-07:00...not pay attention to those hurtingGiven this is my first ever technologically advanced task to accomplish (blogging), I would say I am faring pretty well...at least, I think! Haha.... But in all seriousness, to the reason I have created a blog in the first place...discussing perspective:<br /><br /><br /><br />Today and all of the yesterdays, and more than likely the tomorrows, there are people out there hurting. You may know some personally, you may be one going through pain for whatever reason. Think for a moment how much healing can come to those hurting if we give them the time of day. If we go to church and ask someone how he or she is doing and be on our merry way, not really taking the time to engage with that person, why bother asking in the first place? If we go to the grocery store and try to avoid the fellow shopper who can't stop talking about anything, what makes us think someone is going to listen to us when it's our turn to be chatty about which brand of cookies is the best, or how wonderfully cheap the milk is this week?<br /><br /><br /><br />If we watch a little extra longer the faces of those around us wherever we land (gas station, hair salon, work, etc), and really seek out the ones who have the painful looks about them - whether they look mad, sad, scared, whatever - and take the time to show them some value by connecting with them in some simplistic or deep way... that may be the additive that contributes to their soup of wholeness.Bellabluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01372164672135797460noreply@blogger.com1